October 31, 2013 «A maid as fair as summer, With sunlight in her hair…»

I was pretty much glued to the dating sites from 2004-2006. I met up with 25 girls: I kissed one of them, and I dated another one for six months. I didn’t like any of the others. Or they didn’t like me. But that’s not important. I wrote poems for them, to get attention. Here are some examples.

Some of the poems were written for real girls.

Marianna, 23

From her online Diary:

“Dear guys, do you really think that phrases like “Let’s get to know each other!” or “Hi, how are you?” will make me like you? If you do that, you’re definitely going on my Ignored users list! Always remember that you have to woo and charm girls – NOT just invite her to go for drinks with you this evening! And what self-respecting girl would immediately give you her phone number, e-mail address or ICQ number? This isn’t a requirement for all guys, it’s just the bar that I’ve set for my chosen guy – he shouldn’t fall below it! :) 

Poem:

I’m intrigued by the things that you said,
But I shouldn’t ask more, I think.
My passions run high, but they stay in my head.
Without you I’m sad, so I go for a drink.
It’s obvious now - you deleted me,
Well, that hurts, I can’t hide it from you.
I won’t ask you to give your number to me,
I won’t ask for your ICQ.
I won’t fall below the bar you’ve set.
I won’t say “I’d like to get to know you”.
But I’ll ponder this for hours yet:
How could I have charmed you?

Olga (Little black angel), 23

About me: I’m a real woman  - that is, if all you jerks and losers out there even remember what that is L Boring guys, weirdos, and short guys (shorter than 180 cm) - DON’T write to me!

Poem:

I’m a weirdo, short and boring!
My nickname is the “little freak”.
After work each night, instead of snoring,
I go online and act the creep,
But Olga’s an angel, with wings aglow
She tired of the real world long ago
Where does she fly to – did you guess right?
To Wamba.com, that famous site.

Well, maybe we should get together
I’m ugly, but we could be birds of a feather!

There’s just one little thing for which I hunger:
Olga, I desperately need your number!