October 31, 2013 «A maid as fair as summer, With sunlight in her hair…»
I was pretty much glued to the dating sites from 2004-2006. I met up with 25 girls: I kissed one of them, and I dated another one for six months. I didn’t like any of the others. Or they didn’t like me. But that’s not important. I wrote poems for them, to get attention. Here are some examples. Some of the poems were written for real girls.
October 23, 2013 «A Cultured Lifestyle»
I used to love meeting people online and going on blind dates. Well, this one time I met a girl at the top of an escalator. She looked around 25, with average looks. On that day, at least, she was pretty sexy. We were trying to decide where to go when she suggested going to Coffee House, which was nearby. I figured that she would order a coffee for 130 Roubles, cheesecake for 180 Roubles, and ice-cream for 120 Roubles. I’d have to order a cheap tea for 110 Roubles and a cheap pastry for 85 Roubles…and that’s not even counting the tip. The café was open 24 hours a day, so we could sit there for hours on end, but I only had 500 Roubles in my pocket - including 150 Roubles for a taxi, in case I missed the last metro. So, I said: let’s go to a doughnut shop instead, they have tea and coffee there too, and anyway I don’t like these corporate monstrosities from Moscow that have flooded the market in St. Petersburg and disrupt our cultured lifestyle.
October 10, 2013 «A few tips on where to go and what to do on your first date» (vol. 1)
How often do we panic and rack our brains to come up with ideas for where to go and what to do to make that all-important first date perfect? Worry no more! We’ve put together a list of sure-fire winning suggestions for your first date – you’re bound to find something you like here!
October 2, 2013 «And... A Triple Chin»
Her avatar picture on the dating site was pretty indistinct, but the conversations we had were interesting, and we decided to meet up. When I saw her, I really didn’t like the way she looked: she was around 5 ft. 5”, weighing 70 kg (at a guess) and she had a double, no, a triple chin! But when she came up to me, she immediately kissed me, as though we were old friends. That was sweet. She turned out to be smart, fun and easy-going.